Is this an improvement from my last attempt at this short piece? Opinions, please?

really good, i enjoyed reading this piece a lot more this time around, but there was a few typos i noticed.....nah, just kidding! Loved it, really good piece of drama, tension was good and it definitely made me want to read more of your work. I love time travel which this kinda hints at, and the fact of bodily possession is cool even though its been done a few times, but hey, i love this piece.